How are you?

June 23rd, 2021

There’s only really one answer that matters and that’s I’m good. Could feel a lot better, but no one really asked you that question so you could complain. That is one of the strange customs of the US. However, for like 2 weeks after the day I got my acceptance letter, I was not lying to that question. I think I screamed for 5 min straight at like 10pm that night.

The two days of SSP so far is such an unique experience. I now know what it feels to be completely lost in a lecture. To have to look up vocabulary again and again like I’m learning a new language(azimuth, altitude, declination etc.).  To stay up late to do work…

The diagram depicts Bloom’s taxonomy.

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Usually in school, we have a week to understand two or three big concepts.

In SSP, I feel like I am thrown in a sinking boat with a bucket. I have to find the most efficient way to scoop water out of my boat to keep it from sinking. To have a few hours to take in the situation and devise a way would be ideal but if I wait then I would drown. I have to devise a plan while scooping water. I am expected to analyze after I have just been introduced to a concept. It is very hard to do so when I am still having trouble remembering. I have never been tested this way. It is too soon to tell if I like to be lost all the time but while pushing my limit. I hope my lost will transform into confusion by next week, because if I’m confused, at least I know where to start a problem.

Yesterday, actually VERY early this morning I finally figured out Astro Pset 1 problem three. I rejoiced and recorded a video in celebration. I love SSP so much. I’ve felt so fulfilled. This is why I love STEM – the emotions felt after solving a hard problem is unparalleled. I was so proud of myself that I did that. I’ve never stayed up late to do homework before and it was so worth it. The extra 2 hours of concentration was what I needed to find a proof. The next morning I’ve felt sleepy but not unhappy. I do not regret a thing by staying up late.

Then I saw the answer key.

I think my proof was ok but I really need some feedback to know for sure. I did not explicitly state incoming parallel rays in my proof at ALL. I hinted at it. I hope it was enough.

SSP is hard, but it’s a good kind of hard. I feel just enough overwhelmed to be motivated to do better, but not so much that I am drowned in confusion. I feel very productive and I know I am learning. That is enough for me to be very happy with myself. For a girl in [my small town’s name that nobody’s ever heard of] New York, I am actually doing very good.

A really good quote I’ve saw one day:

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at

— Bruce Lee

It helped me a lot though school and with SSP. I have many goals/things I want to do, but I can’t always finish them, and that’s ok. It is also ok to completely shatter your goals and go to the stars.