New Mexico…More like Mew Mexico🧏♂️
Arion Togelang
Are we looksmaxing or what?
8:00 AM: WAKE UP
I chose sleep over food. If you saw a speck of dust pass by you, it was probably me. I asked for a cup of tea from my friends, but they said there wasn’t any hot water. When I went for lunch, there was hot water. I question their morals.
8:45 AM: 15 MINS INTO LECTURE
I should have gotten breakfast. My stomach growls at me for my poor sense of priority. As Dr. Messner lectures about…reading papers or something—frankly my hunger barred me from actualizing my potential as an academic weapon—I was engrossed by the idea of bagels—how glorious they are. Passionately kneaded, boiled with malt, then baked to perfection. To be sliced open and filled with thick cream cheese. So universally loved, it’s the leading symbol of some of the greatest multiverse movies of this century. The bagel is everything. The everything bagel. Everything. Everywhere. All. At. Once.
9:30-ISH AM: FIRST LECTURE DONE
Five minutes break. I couldn’t contain the beast’s ravage. It roared and growled in demand for food. It dragged me to the nearest place where food can be found: the vending machine. A miraculous contraption, indeed, for the array of delectable treats were displayed through the glass screen and the beast knew only the treat that laid preciously at E7 would cure it of its rage: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The beast compelled my hands to purchase the salty and sweet candy—it didn’t care that the candy was outrageously priced at $1.75 because it needed subsistence immediately. I took that candy, ripped it out of its weak, pathetic packaging and devoured the contents in a flash. Noice.
9:35-ISH AM: FEW MOMENTS LATER
I should have gotten the Pop Tarts… They were the same price but they were bigger. The longer satisfaction would’ve made the price more acceptable. Negative aura.
10:00 AM: ANOTHER LECTURE
It was on writing abstracts. It was relevant for the problem sets that were due tonight, which was to write an abstract on our experiment, so I focused a bit more on this one. Made more progress on the problem set!
11:15-11:20 AM: WALKING TO LUNCH
EINSTEIN BAGELS, EINSTEIN BAGELS, EINSTEIN BAGELS.. CAN I GET A BLUEBERRY BAGEL TOASTED WITH STRAWBERRY SCHMEAR? THANK YOU!!!
12:00 PM: LUNCH
I ate the bagel. Plus some more. I ate a bowl of lettuce, though. I’m in my healthy era. :]
1:00 PM: LECTURE AGAIN
The lecture was on using the Galaxy software. I really tried to follow along, but I got lost. The different tools and information on reading DNA sequencing overwhelmed me greatly. Maybe some information diffused through my brain like a permeable membrane. Nothing bad is gonna happen later right? (it did)
3:00 PM: CHECK ON CHEMOSTAT
There’s lore to this, okay? My team (Eva, June, and me) spent days autoclaving, reassembling, testing just for the tubing of the machine to burst from an unknown pressure. The dissembling, autoclaving, and reassembling takes a total of two hours. We did that three times. At that time, we named our chemostat! So when we finally inoculated the vials and started the experiment, internal tears were shed. Anyway, we didn’t see any growth today, but we didn’t think much. We were still on cloud 9 from yesterday. I water the chemostat with a spritz of ethanol everyday like I’m tending my succulents. I’m taking no chances of contamination.
Meet Samantha Sillygoose Pookiebear (S.S.P.)
4:30 PM: STUDY SESSION
SSP should stand for “Super Studying Powers” as I felt it coarse through my veins. Total concentration was activated and I was on a roll watching reels on Instagr- I mean, doing my problem sets. I did finish my abstract so yippee!
5:15 PM: DINNER
Angelina and I recently decided to participate in the “Hugo Diet.” Named after well…Hugo who primarily ate plain lettuce salad for lunch and dinner, we too were inspired by his eating habits. We made a handshake as an oath and obligation to our goal of fulfilling the Hugo Diet (mewing is involved). But the chicken tenders looked too irresistible.
5:30 PM: DINNER CON’T
We decided to modify the Hugo Diet: As long as we have more vegetables than carbs, still maintaining an acceptable amount of protein, we were fulfilling our goal of an SSP glow up. Hence, dinner was pretty enjoyable.
8:00 PM: STUDY HALL
Lucas Beltran, I hope cockroaches crawl on you while you sleep. Stop bullying me :[ You still owe me Starbucks from losing the bet during the baseball game (I want a matcha latte with oat milk 🙂
Stop untying my shoes Lucas ://
8:45 PM: STILL GRINDING IN STUDY HALL
I don’t understand how to use Galaxy. I’m on my last strand because of it. Someone help me please. Aaaaaaah [sleep deprived scream].
Academic Victim (need a haircut)
9:10 PM: RETURN TO DORM
Miss Alexa was tired as well as I. I did finish my other problem sets in advance, so she commanded me to just return. I probably would’ve thrown my laptop off the roof if it wasn’t for her intervention. I hope she isn’t mad that I told her Matt Smith’s forehead is a rectangle.
Did I lie?
9:15 PM: WALKING TO DORM
I played Seventeen on the walk back. Thankfully, Miss Alexa vibed along to it. Who doesn’t love them after all?
My bias: Mingyu 🙇🙇🙇
11:00 PM: SLEEP
I did ten pushups before falling asleep. I feel my biceps are growing stronger already. I think I deserve a cookie tomorrow. Night.
