To the untrained eye, SSP stands for Summer Science Program. This is a lie propagated by the SSP hivemind meant to lure unsuspecting STEM enthusiasts into their grasp. SSP, to the enlightened individual, is the Super Secret Program.
Today, we learned the secrets of the honorable Sir Isaac Newton.
While we definitely, probably, learned some very important equations for some very important psets, we also learned the exact methods Isaac Newton used to become the best physicist of all time:
1. Cause the plague to develop calculus, physics, and alter the scientific world forever in 18 months.
2. Don’t tell anyone about it. Soft launch your fundamental truths about the world.
3. If your soft launching doesn’t work and someone develops calculus after you and publishes it, destroy their career.
Hopefully biochem can make a disease soon so we can have more physics.
We didn’t have any super secret field trips today, but trust me, when we go on them, they are super secret. Instead, us SSP peasants had to be the jester to our TA overlord Kevin, for his question of the day (QOD) demanded we amuse him with a scribed picture called a “comiec”.
We ate, we served, and we devoured.
Outside of the secrets of Isaac Newton and the secret feudal power hierarchy we live under with decrees disguised under the name “QODs”, we also made some very important discoveries about our world as we worked late into the night.
1. The earth is a cone.
2. Forests aren’t real.
3. There’s a secret race of giant people that live under the ground who exiled Paul Bunyan for cutting down all of the REAL forests.
4. The giant people created all of the rocks.
We worked very diligently on our psets, struggling to code projectiles, do cross products, and understand astronomy, but in the end, what will the people remember? Our python right ascension to declination converter, or the true shape of the Earth?
Today, while not as eventful, was very productive. There are only ever more secrets to find, if only we keep searching.
About me: I’m Kaci, and I’m a rising senior at New Trier Township High School. Outside of math and astronomy, I really like rock collecting, cycling and, after our many hikes at CUB, I think I may like hiking!
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SSP International is a nonprofit offering inspiring science immersion experiences. Founded in 1959, its mission is to provide opportunities to accelerate learning, doing and belonging in science. SSP International’s flagship program is Summer Science Program, a leading education experience for exceptional high school students in astrophysics, biochemistry, genomics and more.
